Monthly Archives: July 2014

One heck of a night

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It’s been a tough night. Not enough nap leads to epic meltdowns. Combine that with the fact that no one else on Little Man’s soccer team showed up for the game tonight, so they combined the teams and promised them a short game followed by snack. Only there was no snack, because our team’s snack parent didn’t show up and the other team chose not to share. I had just talked him through a 45 min game by promising snack. Ugh.

This led to a 1 hour fit with so much self-harming behavior I had to put his helmet on. First time since I’ve had Little Man that I’ve had to do that. It only intensified his anger, but at least his head was safe. The rest of his body, not so much.

Finally when he calmed down and was playing I sat down next to him. He kept acting out. Sometimes me just being near him causes this behavior, so I went in the other room. He started calling for me. “Mommy, come sit.” Then he said two pretty epic things. “Don’t be mad. I’ll be nice.”

People, this is huge. Not just that he emotionally processed that, but that HE DID IT VERBALLY!!!! Little Man has never before used language in that way. He’s never before said either of those things. And this is the first time I’ve heard him craft sentences of his own instead of mimicking or slightly altering what he hears others say.

Needless to say, I came and sat. Of course 2 minutes later he was acting out again, but I’m counting every victory.

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When the Bough Breaks, the Cradle Will Fall

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And . . . no baby.  After hauling tons of baby stuff into my home, installing a car seat, and reorganizing 2 closets and Little Man’s dresser so there would be room for the baby’s stuff.  And it’s not like I’m heart broken I’m not getting a baby–hey my life will definitely be easier with one.  But, the reason I’m not getting him is that he is not being taken away.  On Tuesday the investigator said it was so serious they couldn’t wait till today to remove him and he needed to be taken out right away.  But mom wouldn’t sign the consent form, so they had to wait till court today.  And now mom has “a plan.”  Mom with lots of substance abuse issues has a plan.  So the baby is staying with her.  And I know I’m a bit skeptical, but I am worried about the safety of this little baby.

So, I’m trying to decompress from this.  And now there’s a whole heap of baby stuff to be returned to all my awesome friends who were letting me borrow it.  Ugh.

A new addition to the family

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I got a placement call today for a little three month old boy. They were originally looking to remove him from his home today and needed a foster family. However bio mom wouldn’t sign the consent form, so it will all go down in court on Thursday morning. Barring any changes (which, let’s face it, could always happen in foster care) I will get a new addition to my little family sometime Thursday.

You may be asking if I’m crazy. Believe me, I’m asking it too! But it’s hard to say no when I know there’s a precious little one in need of a loving home and I have both the space and love to give.

Given what I was told about the situation he’s coming from, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s moved to a kinship (family member) placement fairly soon. But again, you never know with foster care.

So now I’m in a mad rush to get ready– baby proofing/cleaning the floors, purchasing/borrowing all the necessary baby gear (bottles, diapers, formula, toys, car seat, pacifiers, blankets, clothing, etc.), and trying to mentally prepare for another huge adjustment to my life.

In other news, the last couple of days have been great with Little Man! He’s talking so much now!!! I have discovered two things that work phenomenally well with him. The first is choices. I’m a big advocate for choices. Ask anyone who’s been to one of my trainings on classroom management. But the amount of choices necessary to make for a smooth evening with Little Man are astronomical. A three minute conversation includes all of the following choices:
* What do you want to do next? A bath or medicine?
* Do you want to walk into the kitchen or ride the trike?
* Do you want to help pour the chips (peanut butter chips necessary before taking the meds) or do you want mommy to do it?
* Do you want to sit in your chair or on mommy ‘s lap?
* Do you want to help me pour the medicine or do you want mommy to do it?
* Do you want to hold the spoon or do you want mommy to?

That’s an average of one question every 30 seconds. With traveling to the kitchen, eating peanut butter chips, pouring medicine, drinking medicine, and running away from me a couple of times thrown in as well. Multiply that by the minutes in a day. It can be exhausting but it really works.

Another thing I have found super useful is songs. This boy has music in his soul. He has learned a ton of vocabulary from the songs I play him. But while on vacation my awesome friend Sharon taught me a song to help kids remember to look before crossing the street. An important lesson for my son who likes to make a mad dash in every parking lot, driveway, and street. And though it hasn’t cured him yet, we’re making progress. And as I’ve implemented songs in other areas he has a hard time following directions, he’s improving in those areas as well. So I’ve become a master songwriter. If you consider master level things like “down the stairs, down the stairs we go, left, right, left, right, we’re marching down the stairs .” I’m sure you’re all blown away.

So that’s it in my crazy world right now. A whole lot of insanity!!!