Tag Archives: funny

I’m drowning in unwritten blog posts

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So, I’m so insanely behind in my blog challenge that it’s just unforgivable!  My life has been a bit crazy– summer time is always the busiest time of year for kids’ pastors.  And then there’s Christmastime.  And Easter.  Well, let’s just say it’s been crazy!  Last week I led a Musical Theatre Camp for kids–it was fun, and crazy, and our performance was a comedy of errors.

Just imagine one of our stars stopping in the middle of the performance and screaming “There’s a GIANT spider on the stage!” while her fellow actor scornfully says, “I hardly think this is the time to discuss spiders.”  And then there was the time all of the actors forgot what they were supposed to do and stared at me in confusion as I mouthed “Exit.”  Only they didn’t exit, they just stared at me.  And my mouthing became a whisper, became a stage whisper, became a full voice, became practically a yell as the entire audience laughed and the kids just stood and stared.  Or then there was the actor who missed her cue to bring out a tray of appetizers, so we went on with the scene.  Only, two scenes later she decides now is the time for appetizers.  And I shoo her offstage.  Then she tries again in her next scene.  And her next.  Until finally she yells at me (from onstage) “But they told me to.”  Ahh . . . such awesome memories.

Anyway, if I’m picking up where I left off in the blog challenge I’m supposed to write about the best thing that happened to me this year.  I’m not really sure I could point out one thing that has happened so far.  So instead, I’m going to cheat and go with the best thing I’m hoping to happen to me by the end of 2013.  I’m hoping to get my foster license, and maybe even my first kiddo.  And I’m on the road!  Last night was my first foster class.

It was an interesting experience.  Our room was jam-packed, and we looked like a diversity in foster parenting ad.  Mostly there were young to middle-aged white couples.  But there was also a black couple, a gay couple, a lesbian couple, a single parent black mom, an older newlywed man whose wife is already certified, and me–the single white girl with no kids.  I’ve heard from many others that only about half the class will make it to the end–the rest will drop out along the way.  I’m trying to guess who will bow out before the end comes–does that make me sadistic?

Anyway, one of the things that I didn’t expect was just how many of these couples are looking at fostering as the road to adopt children.  I think every couple in the room was seeing this as a way to “expand their family.”  And of the seven straight couples,  four of them were led to fostering because of infertility.  Some of them still carried a lot of deep pain when talking about not being able to have a child.  And although I can appreciate how much pain that would cause, I also wonder if they are ready for what fostering really means.  I wonder if some of these couples have chosen foster-to-adopt because it’s a lot less expensive than private and international adoptions.  Now, I firmly believe more people should be fostering and that it is a fantastic thing to do.  But I wonder if parents who are still grieving their own inability to have a child are prepared for the challenges of fostering–not least of which is operating in a world where Plan A is always to return the child to their birth family.

What do you think, internet world?  Has anyone been in this situation before?

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Top 25 Reasons to Be Single

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Tonight I’d share with you an old post–one I originally wrote several years ago.  It’s been a favorite for many of my friends, so I thought I’d share.

While visiting a friend several years ago, we went to see the movie Last Kiss, not really knowing all that much about it.  Whew, let me tell you, there is a lot of stuff in that movie that I did not need to see!  Anyway, the whole movie was pretty much a commentary on the decline of meaningful, committed relationships in our society.  And by decline I mean, the complete and total absence of.  Now I’m not promoting this movie, and I certainly don’t agree with everything in it; but it got me thinking about my commitment to being single.  I mean, besides the whole God thing, I’m discovering a lot of reasons to stay single, and I thought I’d share them with you all.  (Note to my married friends: try not to get too offended by this blog, you know I love you . . . and your spouse.  Note to my single friends: it’s time to celebrate the blessings you have and stop obsessing over meeting your Mr. Right!)

Top 25 Reasons I’m Glad I’m Single:

1. No one will ever be upset that my plans for dinner involve cheese, crackers and not much else.

2. I can go for days at a time without shaving my legs–and no one will notice.

3. I’ll never have to learn to fall asleep to the sound of snoring.

4. I’ll never have to consider whether or not my husband will like the new shade of red I just dyed my hair.

5. I will never have to allow a video game to enter my house as a way of balancing out the money I just spent dying my hair red.

6.  The Princess Fiona ogre that comes out at night when I take off my makeup and sleep with seven crazy hair care products in my hair can remain my little secret.

7. There is no one to be jealous of my workaholic tendencies.

8. My teddy bear doesn’t care if my pajamas are more comfortable than sexy.

9. Men are so much more loveable when you can admire them from a distance and never have to deal with their dirty laundry on the floor.

10. The toilet seat always stays down.

11. I get to drive.

12. I always get to pick where I go for vacation.

13. No one judges how many purses I have.

14. Or pairs of shoes.

15. Or pieces of jewelry.

16. No one cares if I hog the covers.

17. I can spend grocery money on dance classes and not feel guilty.

18. I get to be introduced by own name instead of as Mrs. XYZ.

19. When I’m lost, getting directions isn’t a battle I have to fight.

20. There’s no one to notice how often (or should I say, how rarely) I dust.

21. There’s no one to imply that I should be the one doing the dusting.

22. People think you’re younger when you’re single.

23. No one asks you when you’re going to get pregnant.

24. No one cares that my bedroom is decorated with flowers.

25. I don’t feel compelled to spend the equivalent of a down payment on a house to have a big wedding that will last a few hours.

Now, I’m sure there are just as many advantages to being married.  I do support marriage you know.  It’s just that we single folks don’t celebrate often enough just how good we’ve got it!